18 March 2009

a bit pressurized

today i was raging mad
hostile. ready to burn down the village.
i think it's mama tiger syndrome.

some of you know my kids attend this nazi charter school and for the most part i've just loved being a part of it. but this year they had to replace their art, music, foreign language and choir teachers and i'm starting to wonder why they left. it's a fabulous school for the science/math minded. but that's not me. and it's not balanced even if it were. i keep thinking the pros outweigh the cons...and it's a good opportunity for me to have more structure.
now i'm thinking not so much.
emi has yet to NOT get an F on a report card...because a missing assignment counts as a zero. i know! first grade...what is the point in teaching them that this young. if you miss one you're screwed. it feels like college. i'm constantly behind. so last semester i ask the teacher...what is she missing...oh 'turkey scramble'...what the hell?

i was mad today...because this is what happened...

i come in from teaching dance at noon and reu tells me emi's teacher aid called. oh. ok. what's up? well...she just wanted to inform us that she is sending a folder home of emi's missing work to make up so she can get passing grades (it's all about the grades...which they shouldn't even get in first grade) reu says, thanks for letting us know.
but that's not all.
she's calling because emi was "very overwhelmed" when she saw the folder so the aid, so kindly of her, divided the work into two parts...graded and busy work. about 25% of the work in the folder is for grades and we should complete that first. oh ok...is reuben's reaction. me? i'm instantly fuming. for the past year i have watched my 6 year old drag herself home and smack her forehead with a pencil trying to complete her homework in less than two hours...thinking she is not smart. she is not fast. she is not a good student.

if you do not understand why i would be upset with this folder coming home...then forgo reading on

i'm instantly fuming, over the edge, anger as in rage!
i wrote (but did not send) the most hostile email to emi's teacher. then i think, wait, i should see how much work this is and see what emi says. don't overreact. so i wait.

here comes the kids from school...lynz hops out and runs over to help me decorate the studio for a little fairy tea bithday party for some of my tiniest dancers. (it was a busy day) and reu picks emi out of the car...she doesn't lift her head from his shoulder. honey?...emi?...look at these fairy houses...emi...emi? nothing. ok. reu takes her inside...eventually she comes out in her fairy dress and i ask her if she had a good day at school...she shrugs and says "it's the same." oh.

well, let's party. for the next two hours there is a magic party at my house, outside in the glorious 65' weather, in the studio full of so much sparkle dust we are slipping on the floor. we make these little fairies. cake. ice cream. where is emi? for the most part my child is silent. she is watching. at clean up i find her curled in a blanket on the lawn...asleep. she is sleeping now in my bed. and i've just looked at her yellow folder of 'make-up work' and i'm wondering where it came from because we have not been absent this term. and then i pull out her math. two worksheets. both sides. 200 math fact problems to do. and a story problem sheet with another 20 math facts. what the hell?! she has 12 missing assignments! from writing all 30 spelling words in sentences to writing a story about teeth. i'm done. fail out of this damn school. it's crushed my child. emi use to wear stripey tights with rain boots every day and flower clips. now she's nervous if she doesn't tuck in every shirt and it's the end of the world if she can't find her belt. i don't care if the kids are capable of doing this much work...it should not be asked of them.
i help out in emi's class tomorrow.
watch out...here comes one mad mama.


in all honesty...i'm not sure what i'll do...
maybe i will pack up her desk and just leave.
here's just a little proof if you needed it. the thing is, none of it is too difficult it's just that there is so much of it for one little girl in one little night...and you cannot really spread it out over too much time because you lose points for being late and there is always tomorrows work.

9 comments:

Hayley said...

yes. take her out. it's not worth it.

somewhere in that very city is a school with a teacher that will love her.

but what do i know?

that tomorrow, i don't want to be in your way. that's all i really know. mama bear's are fierce.

Ashley K. said...

Ah Hell... get out!

I can't wait to here what happens tomorrow.

love you.

Martha W said...

that is not fair for that school and teacher to do that to such a little girl. It is first grade not college. it is not worth keeping her in that school, and ruining her self esteem and her happy go lucky self. Get her out and let us know how it turns out. love ya girl

Megan said...

good luck Amber. You just want her to be a carefree little girl and that's what she should be.

Brittney said...

Hey sis
I agree with everybody above. I think it is time you have talked to Emily's teacher so many times and voiced your concerns about the amount of work and she is not working with you or considering Emily and her personal needs. I just wish we could find an in between your school and mine. Good luck sis
love ya

Kate said...

Wow, Amber, I totally understand why you're so mad. I would be too. That is just way too much. I guess I just don't even see the point. Busy work, why busy work? What, kids can't stay busy without massive amounts of mind-numbing worksheets being piled on them? No wonder she's overwhelmed!

And grades? For 6 year olds? Yes, let's teach at least half of all kids that they're "not very smart"--really, really early! Grr, Oh Amber, what a tough situation. I can't wait to hear what you decide to do, but I just wanted to add another voice to the chorus of sympathies. Little children shouldn't be burdened like this, and and they need angry mama bears like you to be their support!

Ashy and his Mommy said...

"Turkey Scramble" and "Busy Work"...getting F's? Seriously? Someone is trying a little too hard to impress the deceased Adolf. So sorry Em :( and go get em Am! Sounds like you've got a shlew of mama bears backing you up! Love you.

Kristin said...

hmm . . . I would be mad too. Emi is so full of life--I need to talk to you about a few things in person. I think you need to say something--BUT then what can you say? They have a waiting list--they know it, it doesn't matter. Sweet girl--I was ready to cry reading about her being so crushed. I honestly don't know what to tell you BUT I understand your feelings completely. Let us know what happens today.

Kara said...

Hey Amber! I found your blog. Man. The only thing I can say is that it has never been this bad for my kids. It has to be the teacher, not the school's policies. Neither one of my kids has ever had that much homework. It makes me so sad for little Emi that she feels so overwhelmed. If it doesn't work to talk to the teacher, have you tried talking to Mrs. Herring. I've never talked to any of them before. Poor Emi.