a little long trip to the school

{math homework...a few weeks ago}

here we go...
a bit detailed for those of you who want it...and for my own clarity

i get up yesterday and i absolutely must order costumes for my upcoming dance performance of the wizard of oz. i'm on the phone with denise in virginia when i start getting beeps...check the caller id...it's the school. hum. so after the fifth one denise goes on hold.
hello?
hey mom.
who's this? (cuz i can never tell)
it's emi.
is everything ok?
no.
what's the matter?
i need my unfinished work because we are doing it all afternoon and it all has to be done and there is a special treat for if we finish and i don't have any of it here so mom i need you to bring it to school right now.
[oh this is funny. the unfinished work.]
well...i'm coming in at 12:30 can i bring it then?
hurry mom cuz that is all we are doing today.
k. see you soon. love you bye.
i flash back over to denise and finish up my costume order. before i head over to the school i shake reu awake and he has one suggestion "take a fire extinguisher"...love that man.
i told him i was only taking matches.

here comes mama bear. not so much a tiger today. not confrontational at all. not here to fix it all, just here it tell you how i feel and what i'm willing to do and how i don't care about how that affects my child's grades. this is my nightly agreement: i will do 2 math worksheets. study 10 spelling words. read 30 min with my child. and write the monthly story. that's it. if there is more worksheets i will be throwing it away. and i don't really care about the grade repercussions. i'm all set.

i arrive at the school and check in at the front desk. two of emi's classmates that i know really well are sitting in the office, the little girl says "hi miss emi's mom" but she is quickly silenced by the secretary, "you don't get to talk when you are in here, you are in trouble and we have work to do so you need to be quiet." oh heavens. i speak up.."oh i don't think she was talking to you and i feel it would be very rude for her not to say hi to me. hi katrina. i hope your day gets better. and you too a.j." the secretary realizes she was rude and apologizes...and off i go to the classroom. it's lunchtime. perfect.

i walk in and hold up the yellow folder...i'm not mad. i'm almost apathetic. "now, i'm confused...why did we send this home for the weekend if it's all they are working on today." she smiles at my joke. "i know i know. we just wanted them to get as much done as they could, get a headstart for today."

i have a seat and say "you know i have a big problem with this unfinished work." she knows. i begin to tell her about emi's day yesterday. how she came home drained and couldn't even play at the fairy party. how she fell asleep at 5 and didn't get up until this morning at 7:30. how she feels like it is never done. i hold up the folder and tell her emi obviously did not do any of it last night. i pull out her math folder and show her emi's unfinished math work. (she is not the math teacher) and then i tell her emi was also unable to study her spelling words for the pre-test. Then i tell her how my daughter woke up this morning out of her mind stressed because all of this was suppose to be done. she was paying the price for sleeping. her day was started and she was half buried. and now, worst of all to a 6 year old, she was not going to get the treat for having it done.

we talked. she listened. she shared my absolute disgust for grading these kids. she agreed that it was teaching them to focus on what they did not complete rather than dwelling on all they did. they didn't look at the twenty 100% but rather the four 0% that powered their grade. she agreed. but it is the school's policy. we talked about the school's 'underlying principles' and how she is required to have a specific curriculum with shurley spelling, spalding english and of course our saxon math. it was a lot...but required. i turned it a bit...she is doing the same thing with unfinished work. they never get to dwell on what they've done because there is always so much more to do. (i'm not sure if she got it)

it was then that i realized she has two agendas. she is a very creative teacher who wants to do all these fun projects with the kids...and this is a priority of course. but the school's curriculum leaves her little time. so really...the kids are getting two curriculums. she is trying to fit in the fun stuff between the academic worksheets and constant testing. I'm confused at why it can't be swapped...why the worksheets can't be lowered on the priority and fit in between the fun stuff. at any rate, shurley, spalding and saxon get top seat. this is tough on her and the kids. so i see her dilemma. she is not willing to cut out her fun stuff (i would hope not) but she is unable to limit the academics. after all...it's very important for my 1st grader to be diagramming sentences. true story. diagramming. go figure. so i venture to say perhaps there is a creative fun way of implementing the academics. maybe. just maybe. shurley and spalding don't have to be done in worksheets. ya think?

so i bring up the 30 spelling sentences. i understand it is implementing lots of skills. punctuation. capitalization. penmenship. spelling. but those words are old. and it takes my 3rd grader almost two hours to complete her five sentences including two spelling words (if i don't offer any help). the point of the assigment is over. why the need to finish it? why not ten sentences? "Well they had a whole week to complete that, i gave them almost an hour every day to work on those sentences." {that sounds like a fun creative hour.} that's not true. i know it. she knows it. but i play along. so you don't have one hour to devote to a fun planet poster project...but every day they can write sentences. let's see that's six sentences each time. seems like there would definitely be a funner way to implement those skills...punctuation. spelling. capitalization. she seems proud of her 30 sentence idea and i leave it be. but she knows i find it ridiculous.
just then!
here comes another mama bear.
oh! but she is angry...like me yesterday
spitting mad. locked jaw. handful of unfinished work.
seems the aid didn't separate hers into busy and graded. yikes!
seems more than one kid had to call mom today.
i'm almost laughing at what the teacher has brought on herself.
in my humor i speak up first.
"so this must be your pile of unfinished work," i smile with a bit of sarcasm, "and tell me dear, how do you feel about it?"
she shakes her head and honestly tries not to smile, this is not a laughing matter, "i don't think you want to ask me that right now?"
"oh i know, cuz i'm right with you." i sympathize...and turning to mrs.s i say "we know how i feel about this unfinished work." and i hand the flaming baton over to the tiger and get my butt out of there. no need to let myself get all fired up again. can't think clear when your mind is in a rage. i find emi in the lunchroom and sit and chat with the kids. i know all of them from kindergarten and they beg me to stay for the day...i feel more confident to speak up for them.

soon, mrs.s comes to get the kids and we head back to class. i ask her teacher how it went with the other angry parent and she says "oh i told her i had to get the kids from lunch and didn't give her much time to vent."
hum.
vent.
is that what she was doing with me? hearing me out.
no real change. just another venting mom.
hum...

but when we got back in the classroom she had her aid take over and asked me if i wouldn't mind continuing our conversation. sure. i told her how i've been trying to understand her teaching methods and although i appreciate that she uses so many approaches [ie:worksheets] to teach a skill or concept...it can be overkill once they've learned it. perhaps she could simplify. she stops me there and said that she and the aid had talked about this. simplifying. that it was too much for them as teachers and they knew the kids were overwhelmed. so i asked her what she was going to simplify. she seemed at a loss.

i offered my own suggestion. when i come help out in class you have at least four things going on, groups of kids doing different things, but then you call out different children to leave their 'assignment' and come test for something...or finish something else. then the child returns to that assignment but can't quite pick up right where they left off...they have to settle into it again. every assignment or project becomes longer with every interruption. for example, last thursday the kids were asked to finish their planet poster in 15 min. but i was asked to pull out the children that hadn't finished their secret animal story and make sure they finished that. that was overwhelming. you tell the children "this is the last 15 min you have to finish the planets, i want them all done today." but i have different instructions, and those six kids that need to also finish another project are suddenly faced with 2 assignments at once. plus, there is a group of kids that need to take a reading test on the computer so they have double duty too. AND we all have to be quiet, absolutely silent, while they test. i just think it makes more sense to do it all together...and whatever doesn't get finished they can work on at home and bring it back...i would actually love to help my daughter tear little pieces of paper into a saturn and look online for three planet facts. now that's fun.

i'm not sure she got my point. but i'm glad i at least offered a suggestion. it bugs me when people rant about something without an idea of making it better.

so here are my papers in the suggestion box:

repetition does not need to be incessant.

1 daily worksheet done well can teach the same concept

as 12 different ones done frantically.

***

commit to the project.

start it and finish it together.

***

if a group is testing,

have the other kids in quiet groups too...

not making funny shamrock people, it's too hard to be quiet while doing something silly.

***

it's Not ever, Never ever, about the finished project.

it's about the experience.