not so quick

after 4 hours in the hospital...
i'm wondering why my doctor could not do this simple test during our appointment
seems dr.j had the nifty little kit to check for fluid.
really? do i have to answer 500 questions and be admitted for this.

so the nurse admitting me asks the next question...
"do you learn better by verbal description or demonstration?"
and i'm thinking...hum...really?
do you ask this question to women when they are in labor?
hum...please demonstrate my delivery, go ahead.

are you going to demonstrate this internal exam for me?
yes, i would like to see my doctor demonstrate what this feels like...
what a splendid idea.
let's see if he is up for it.
oh...that's right, he didn't want to check at his office so let's send her over to labor and delivery for the 2 min. test. nevermind the protocol and hoops we must therefore jump thru.

and while i'm at it why don't i pour 2 tbs. of water down his pants
and he can tell me if that is adequate leakage to want to change.

so i'm waiting...and waiting...
the first test took a second, quick swab...doesn't turn blue. good to go.
great. i'm ready to go home.
oh but you can't!
there is this thing called discharging.
which means waiting for the doctor.
which doctor? i mean i have seven after all.
call down to the office, ask the one that sent me.
nope.
the one at the hospital...yes, the one delivering babies.
oh ok. i'll wait. and wait. and wait.
so we might as well do another test just to make sure.
good to go.
nope. a few hours later let's also do an expensive sonogram with a bratty lady who asks
"why are you here?"
she's irritated that it's after five and i'm obviously fine.
i'm thinking the same thing.

me and mr.thorpe are going to have a little talk in a few weeks.
that was a bit ridiculous.

my favorite part was the fact they have to monitor the baby the whole time...which is difficult with a 2 lb dolphin girl who won't stay still...after all, didn't i mention, i had to drink that glucose drink for the earlier appointment. so i'm sick to my stomach and the babies practicing her ninja skills...oh and "we're not sure if you can eat or drink anything." are you kidding!